The Lost Mom

Truth to power baby, truth to power
April 24, 2009, 11:44 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

I think I’m still in shock…. only, it’s the good kind of shock this time.  The bottom line: I’m going to see him some time next week. The judge ordered it. So be it!

Who would have guessed?  When I woke up this morning I dreaded the idea of going into court. In fact, my inner kid came out and I said, “I don’t want to go.” Of course I did go. You can read over at Keri’s blog her account of the proceedings (thanks for the support Keri)

The judge still has to determine if he will dismiss the contract that she and I entered into. Until then, though, I’ll get to play trains with the little guy. I’m so, so happy. You’ll just have to imagine how happy I am because I don’t have words to describe it.

A couple of humorous stories from the proceedings (all thanks to my charming father):

So, my 87 year old father had come to court to testify and to give me moral support (and he was a great witness). At the end of the morning, while the judge was ordering some kind of visitation (and all I can tell you is that the other side seemed to be scrambling, giving so many excuses about why that wouldn’t be a good idea) my dad motioned for me. I’m at the plaintiff table and he’s in the front row, so it’s a bit of a spectacle for me to just turn around and talk with him. And, let’s just say it here, he isn’t the most discreet whisperer I’ve ever known and he doesn’t really hear very well. At any rate, he said, “They’re trying to drag this out, you not seeing him, so that he won’t recognize you.” I said, “I know.” He pointed at my lawyer, Lauren, and said, “Does she know.” He apparently, wanted this specific point to be in the public record. I assured him that we were doing okay and thanked him for the co-counsel.

My dad is the equivalent of co-counsel from Mayberry (you know… The Andy Griffith Show). He thinks if I just show them the birth certificate that has my last name on it (hyphenated with her’s) that that should be enough for the judge. When he brings it up, “didn’t you give them the birth certificate,” I try to explain that it’s a bit more complicated than that. He looks at me like I’m a damn fool. He’s like, “duh.” And when I really think about it, I think he’s right. Of course he’s right. But, apparently, despite our town’s spanky clean exterior, this isn’t Mayberry and things are a bit more complicated than common sense.

A side note about language:  You might have noticed that I’m avoiding in the post calling him my son or me his mom. I’m not going to from here on out. This was apparently the big harm I had done to him, the harm that makes me a threat to him (according to the opposing side). So, because I am a reasonable person, I will be his Gena and he will be my Little Guy. No more calling me mom (and could I care less or what right now?) and no more calling him my son. It works for me because my entire purpose in going to court, in pursuing this, is to have a reasonable relationship with the Little Guy.

So thank you all for your support. Thank you for your love and good vibes. And for those who could make it to court today, thank you for letting me hear your beautiful tears of joy. At that very moment, when it became clear that the judge would order some kind of visitation (for next week!) I was clutching my heart. And I heard your soft sniffles and I didn’t feel so alone.

Where we go from here is anyone’s guess. I just know that hearing the judge say from the bench, “Let me tell you where the law is coming from on this. A child needs all the love they can get,” made me feel that, even in our small corner of ridged Utah, maybe hope is alive. Maybe Mayberry justice does prevail!


7 Comments so far
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A wonderful day indeed :)

Comment by Manessa

you reasonable person you. yay!

Comment by amy

I am so happy for you and for Ollie…

Comment by Kent

It’s great news! Hope you see the little guy very soon!

Comment by Amy

Congratulations! Reasonable and fair aren’t words I have been able to use in my experience with Utah and our families,so this is wonderful! I’m happy and relieved for you!

Comment by Debbie

I am so happy for you, I am praying this is the start of wonderful things to come!

Comment by

It’s wonderful to read these words, knowing how much joy is filling your heart.
We are all so happy for you and will continue to support you both through the months to come.

Comment by Keri

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